I'm Not Gay But
by XxmerthurcatxX
Summary: Roxas has been in love with Axel since they were kids, but Axel's not gay...right? AxelXRoxas


Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts :(

Roxas's POV

First things first, I'm gay. GET OVER IT! Anyway, my brother Cloud's best friend Axel is like a brother to me. Well, up until recently. The three of us have grown up together, ignoring the two year age gap between myself and the two of them. We were attached at the hip from preschool to middle school. Unfortunately once they hit the high school scene we started drifting apart. It's not like we never saw each other(obviously I live with my brother), but things were different. I'd held onto this naive little hope that we would be back together once I was out of middle school, but of course that never happened.  
When Cloud found out I was gay he stopped speaking to me. Mom and Dad were supportive and tried to mend the gap between us, but it was too late. Axel didn't know. I guess Cloud didn't spill the beans. So with my relationship with Cloud shattered and my friendship with Axel almost nonexistent I made new friends. Ones that were okay with me being gay. Mostly girls.  
The situation took another dramatic turn when I realized why I'd been missing Axel so much. I was in love with him. And to this day the only people who know are Kairi and Namine (my two best friends). Which brings us to the present, winter break of my freshmen year.  
"Tell him." Kairi ordered, poking me hard.  
"I'd like my face to remain in tact thanks." I replied, rubbing my wounded arm. Namine rolled her eyes and plopped down next to me on my bed.  
"Really Roxas, the two of you have been friends since forever. Why would he bash your face in?" she asked.  
"Um, because he doesn't even know I'm gay let alone in love with him. He's just like my brother guys. Mom used to call them twins." I said, a bit of old jealousy bubbling to the surface.  
"BRRR! Wrong answer. Do you even know if he's for sure straight. I mean, what if he's gay or at the very least gay for you?" Namine gave me a light push.  
"Have you seen him? The boy is the epitome of perfection. On the off chance that he's gay, why the hell would he like me?" I asked.  
"Oh darling I think it's time you take a look in the mirror." Kairi said, yanking me to my feet and steering me over to my full length mirror. "Now, look at yourself." I rolled my eyes at her, but obeyed. My blonde hair spiked in every direction, giving me permanent bed head. I sneered at my height, 5'5. Kai and Nam are taller than me for God sake. My bright blue eyes stared back at me.  
"Meh." I glanced away.  
"That is not meh! You're kinda hot Roxas, face it. If you weren't gay I would so be trying to get in your pants." Kairi shrugged, pushing me back over to the bed. What was up with the physical abuse.  
"Seriously hon, just tell him." Namine patted my shoulder before glancing at her phone. "Shit, Kairi we gotta go, mom's gonna be here in two minutes(did I mention they're sisters? Twins actually)." she said, giving me a quick hug before dragging Kairi out the door. None of us are fond of goodbyes.  
I made my way downstairs slowly to see if dinner was almost ready. Cloud glanced up at me as I walked into the kitchen. His stare was cold as usual. I swallowed the lump in my throat.  
"Hey Roxy! Long time no see." I jumped at the hand that clapped my shoulder. Axel grinned down at me.  
"Hey! How's it goin?" I asked, smiling. Cloud flinched at our closeness.  
"Pretty good, got a hot date on Friday." He said winking. I ignored the sinking feeling in my stomach.  
"Cool." I continued smiling like a moron.  
"Speaking of girls, I saw the two that just left. One of them your girlfriend?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.  
"Nah, just friends." I said quickly. Cloud stood up from the table scoffing.  
"Why is it you don't have a girlfriend Roxas?" Cloud asked snidely. I glared at him.  
"Just haven't met the right girl I guess."  
"You sure about that. Maybe the reason is-"  
"Shut up Cloud!" I cut him off.  
"Why? Afraid what Axel might think?"  
"D-don't."  
"Come on Roxas. Tell us the real reason you don't have a girlfriend?"  
"Stop. Please."  
"Cloud man, ease up." Axel interjected.  
"You wouldn't be protecting him if you knew he was a-"  
"SHUT UP!" I yelled.  
"NO YOU SHUT UP YOU DUMB HOMO!" Cloud shouted. I glanced at Axel. His face was blank. It was silent for moment before Mom came in.  
"What's going on in here?" She asked.  
"I was just telling Axel how much of a freak Roxas is." Cloud sneered.  
"Cloud-" Mom started. I bolted from the room. She'd read him the riot act a million times, I didn't want to hear it again. It didn't matter, I could hear her yelling from up in my room. I collapsed onto my bed, sobbing so loudly I didn't even hear the knock on my door.  
"Roxas?" Axel's voice rang in my ear. My head shot up up and I locked eyes with him. I stood up, wiping my eyes.  
"What? Come to tell me how disgusting I am?" I asked, voice full of anger and sadness.  
"Of course not. Listen, Cloud...he's wrong. There's nothing wrong with being gay." He said slowly, placing a hand on my shoulder. I shivered.  
"Thanks Ax. Th-there's something I have to tell you and it's gonna ruin everything, but I have to do it." I whispered.  
"What-" I grabbed his shirt and yanked him to me, crashing our lips together. I felt him stiffen. It was a short kiss, but it got the point across. When I pulled away I stared at him for a moment.  
"I love you." I murmured before running out of my room, down the stairs and out the door.  
I ran, not caring where I was going. I'm such an idiot!  
Next Day at Lunch

"Come on Roxas, it can't have been that bad." Kairi patted my shoulder. I put my head down on the table, sighing.  
"Yeah, maybe he just didn't kiss back because he was shocked or because he was afraid you'd think he was a bad kisser." Namine reassured. I scoffed, raising my head.  
"Axel. A bad kisser. Nice try Nami. He didn't even move his lips and it was amazing."  
"Um, Roxas-"  
"He must think I'm a total moron now." I shook my head.  
"Rox-"  
"Watch, he'll start avoiding me like the plague."  
"ROXAS!" Riley shouted.  
"What?!" I yelled back, slightly miffed she interrupted my pity party. She pointed behind me. Oh dear god, no. Please, no. I turned around slowly to find Axel standing there awkwardly.  
"Um, hey Roxy." he greeted. I leapt from my seat and bolted from the room, not stopping until I was safely locked inside a bathroom stall. Geez, I should join the track team with all the running I've been doing lately.  
After a while it was clear he hadn't followed me. I slipped out of the stall.  
"Hello Roxas." I flinched. It was my brother. Tear prickled at the corners of my eyes.  
"W-what do you want Cloud?" I asked, cursing the stutter. To my surprise, he pulled me into a hug.  
"I'm sorry." he muttered. "I'm so sorry."  
I hugged him back, not really sure why he was being so nice, but I just went with it.  
"If I had known about your feelings for Ax, I wouldn't have said anything."  
"Why are you okay with this now? Shouldn't you be royally pissed off that I'm in love with your bestfriend?"  
"Probably, but I miss the three of us hanging out. If the only way I'm going to get that is by Aerith and I going on double dates with you guys, then I'll make it happen." he smiled. I laughed.

"Thanks Cloud. Anyway, I miss us hanging out to. Now I've created an even bigger problem with this whole Axel thing. He's straight. Nothing I can do about it." I sighed. Cloud shook his head.

"Axel hasn't talked to you yet has he." it wasn't really a question.

"I think he tried to a little while ago, but I kind of ran away."

"I'm staging an intervention little brother. You'll thank me later." Cloud grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the bathroom. The halls were mostly empty as it lunch.

"Where are we going?" I asked. Cloud didn't answer, he just pulled me along. We didn't stop until we were out of the building. I sucked in a breath. There was Axel, sitting on the stairs.

"He's all yours man." Cloud said, pushing me towards Axel, who had taken notice of the fact we were there and was staring at me. Rolling his eyes, Cloud turned to head back into the building.

"H-hey Ax." I stuttered. "I-" he held up his hand to silence me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, shuffling nervously from foot to foot.

"Um, I did." I answered, confused.

"Right, but why didn't you tell me earlier?" he sounded sad.

"I...I didn't want you lose you as a friend."

"That's bullshit Roxas. Seriously, that's the oldest answer in the book. **Tell me!**" he was angry now. I flinched when he grabbed my shoulders.

"**I was scared okay! I was afraid you'd hate me!"** I shouted.

"Hate you? Roxas how the hell could I ever hate you?!" he pulled me forward, smashing our lips together. It took me a moment to realize what was happening. I pushed him away.

"What are you doing?" I asked, face even more flushed than it was before. He looked at his feet.

"I'm not gay." he said simply.

"I know." I whispered.

"No, you don't understand. I'm not gay, but..." he trailed off.

"But?" I prompted, allowing myself to feel just the tiniest bit of hope.

"I love you too. Ever since we were kids." he murmured. I was stunned. Completely frozen in shock.

"S-say something." he pleaded. I shook myself out of it before throwing my arms around him and connecting our lips once more. His arms snaked around my waist, holding me impossibly close, while my hands tangled in his hair.

"OH MY GOD!"

"I TOLD YOU!"

We broke apart, gasping for air. I turned to glare at Kairi and Namine.

"Go away." I growled. They burst into maniacal laughter.

"Sorry to interrupt your face sucking session, but I think we deserve to see you happy since you've been moping about for years." Kairi said, grinning. I stuck my tongue out at her. Very mature in front of my new boyfriend. Wait. New boyfriend. I HAVE A BOYFRIEND! AND HE'S PRACTICALLY SEX ON LEGS! YAY FOR ME!

"Sorry to interrupt your internal rant, but I wasn't done kissing you." Axel whispered in my ear. It suddenly felt much warmer in here...and my pants felt a lot tighter.

"Bye guys!" I said, grabbing Axel's hand and yanking him through the parking lot to his car. Hehe. My boyfriend has a car. He surprised me by opening the passenger side door for me. I smiled, climbing into the car. He hopped in on his side and quickly started the car, revving the engine a few times. I leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"Love you." I murmured. He smiled, turning to kiss me full on the mouth.

"Love you too." he said when we pulled away. I grinned at him. Being with him felt right.

I learned just how right it was later that night *winky face*.

There you go, a random Akuroku story! Hope you guys enjoyed it :)

~Merthurcat


End file.
